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Hey You Asked: Advice For A Transitioning Naturalista

Dear PBG,

                I am 24 yrs old and have never had the interest or desire to transition to natural hair until now. My hair was falling out in patches and the breakage was unbearable.  I cut my hair in May and I haven’t had a perm since February. I have been researching how to transition to natural hair but everywhere I look someone is talking about THE BIG CHOP, weaves or wigs. I need your help!!!! Please let me know what I can do with my hair to make this transition without THE BIG CHOP or weaves. I don’t mind braids but I would love to wear my hair out and enjoy it while I make this healthy transition. Please give me any advice you can as far as products I can use and easy hairstyles. I refuse to do THE BIG CHOP.  My hair and I would go into shock, so any advice, tips, forums or links you can tell me about would be great.

 

 Thank You,

Natural Hair Crybaby

 

Hey Naturalista! Don’t cry. It’s not as difficult as you think it is.

First off, I think the reason that people recommend the Big Chop over transitioning is because hanging on to permed ends isn’t the best choice when going natural. The “line of demarcation” is where your fresh natural texture new growth meets your permed hair:

source: www.antihairslave.com

That is where your hair is weakest when you’re growing your hair out and it is very susceptible to breakage. In reality, there is no real reason to hang on to permed ends if you’re going to stop using relaxers. But, I know that we tend to want to hang on to our length. Believe me, I know. I transitioned for a year before I just gave up and chopped. That Length Struggle be REAL for Black girls! LOL! But that doesn’t mean you can’t hold on to your length while you grown your hair out. It just means you have to be very careful. Minimal heat and minimal manipulation and what I like to call “mini chops”. “Mini chops” are when you get a little bit of the perm cut out every few months until it’s all gone. That way you will save yourself and your hair from “shock”. LOL…when I read that part of your letter I laughed out loud…Hair grows back! I promise! LOL!  Since you don’t mind braids, those would be a perfect protective style for you.

My friend Kellie held on to her permed ends for a long time, so when I was doing her hair through her transition time, the styles that worked best were roller/rod sets and bantu knot-outs. You can find tutorials for these very simple styles on Youtube. Once we cut off Kellie’s permed hair, her curls POPPED like crazy and her hair seemed to grow faster than before and she was just more satisfied with her hair. Eventually you will too, so don’t fret.

As for products, I am a big fan of Oyin Handmade products (burnt sugar pomade, juices n’ berries moisturizing spray)  and Shea Moisture products (deep treatment masque, curl & style milk) for styling. My favorite shampoo is Dr.Bronner’s All-In-One Peppermint Soap and my favorite conditioner is Tresseme Naturals for curly hair. I use EcoStyler Olive Oil or Aragan Oil Gels exclusively and Lottabody Olive Oil Styling Foam for roller and rod sets. I use Giovanni Direct Leave-In Conditioner exclusively now after starting out with Cantu Shea Butter Leave In last year. My favorite oils are extra virgin coconut oil, extra virgin olive oil and apricot oil. In winter when I prefer something heavier I use avocado butter or castor oil.

Check out these blogs/forums for more advice on transitioning and caring for your natural hair:

Curly Nikki

Back To Curly

 

 

(I’ll add more later, but these are the ones I read regularly).

And while I don’t always post a lot on technique and care for natural hair, I tend to write a lot about attitudes and experiences with natural hair. Click on that tag at the top of my post to check out some of it.

I hope this helps and feel free to ask any other questions you have!

 

Dedicated Readers, any additional advice for this transitioning Naturalista? Feel free to drop links and tips in the comment section. Thanks!

 

~pbg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Fridays At The Movies: “Jackie’s Back”

I hemmed and hawed up until the last minute about which movie to talk about in this very first installment of my new blog series, “Fridays At The Movies”, but in the end, “Jackie’s Back” won out over one other (which will more than likely be next week’s choice).

My friends Nova, L.L.Perkins of Conscious Eye Photography and T.Lewis and I were all having drinks on my birthday last week and the movie came up in conversation. I said I’d never seen it before and you would think I said I’d never seen “The Color Purple” before!! Apparently it is a cult classic and by the end of the of the weekend, I was leaving Nova’s house with his copy that he graciously lent me. I have watched this move EVERYDAY since Sunday!

“Jackie’s Back” is an absolutely hilarious “mockumentary” film directed by Robert Townsend (whom I adore). It stars Jenifer Lewis in the title role and she is magnificent! If I’m not mistaken, this movie never was in theaters. It was a Lifetime movie that aired in June 1999  that has since been released on DVD. That is perfect for a movie like this. In the story, Jackie Washington, former child singing sensation turned R&B/pop diva is staging a monumental comeback after having a bumpy, roller coaster ride through superstardom.  She is being interviewed along the way by stuffy British journalist, Edward Whatsett St.John (Tim Curry). Most of the time she’s in her dramatic robe wearing a turban accompanied by her awkward and homely daughter “Antandra”, but always the consumate DIVA. There are so many cameos from some of Hollywood’s biggest stars, giving their opinions, both good and bad, on Jackie Washington and her “comeback”.

In Jackie’s mind, she is the biggest pop diva who ever lived and her career was sabotaged and ripped off by all the other divas in the game. Her biggest hits were songs with colorful titles like “Sookie Sookie Mama”, “Eye On The Motherland-Or Cleveland” and “Take Your Jheri Curl And Go”. Aretha, Whitney, Streisand, Brandy, Diahnn Carroll and even Bea Arthur…they all “stole” from Jackie! But she ain’t namin’ any names, you know. Jackie also has a tumultuous relationship with her oldest daughter, Shaniqua who claims Jackie wasn’t a good mother because she was obsessed with her career. Jackie’s sister, Ethyl (portrayed flawlessly by Whoopi Goldberg) spills ALL the tea on Jackie when she is interviewed for the documentary and is strangely, the only member of Jackie’s extended family willing to talk about her on camera. Ethyl just may be the funniest character in this movie to me. I laughed so hard every time she was on the screen. Every aspect of Jackie’s rise, fall and road back to fame will have you laughing so hard that you will cry real tears!

The funniest part of the movie to me is when Jackie and the documentary film crew travel to her hometown of Kinloch, Missouri to interview the people who are familiar with her humble beginnings. The encounter with her “Play Mama” Mrs.Krumes played by the late Isabel Sanford (who we all know and love as “Weezie” from The Jeffersons) had me laughing so hard I was ready to pee my pants. I was happy to see one of my faves, Loretta Devine show up as Jackie’s best childhood friend, “Snookie”, in a FABULOUS wig!! I am SO mad that I’m so late on this movie! Sorry to tell ya, Nova…I can’t guarantee you the return of this DVD, but you are welcome to come visit it anytime you want.

If you want to laugh until you can’t even see straight anymore, find a way to watch “Jackie’s Back”. The musical number from Jackie’s blaxploitation film “Coco’s Revenge” and the “Essence of Jackie” hair relaxer debacle are worth the purchase price alone.

Here’s a trailer for the movie:

You can actually watch the whole movie on on Youtube!! Click here to start with part one.

 

My favorite lines from the movie:

“Lemme tell you somethin’ about Jackie Washington: She ain’t sh*t!”

“Antandra! Antandra!”

“I sat up and wrote that song! I did that!”

“I’m still HUGE in Kinloch!”

“You think you go to Whitney Houston’s house and she got some other bitch’s awards on her wall?”

“Get away from here with your nasty self and take those white people with you!”

“My mother’s house was a tower of lies.”

 

I hope I haven’t given away too much of the movie, but as soon as you get a chance, check it out! Jenifer Lewis is AMAZING, I promise! Thank me later and see you on next Jackie Washington Day!

 

~pbg

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The Great Bra & Panties Debate

Last night, I retweeted this tweet and started a firestorm of funny on Twitter. It is actually hilarious to me how something so insignificant can morph into what ended up being an hour-long discussion on women’s undergarments.

"Oh wow! Matching is FUN!"

 

In fairness, I will say that DJ Phaze (who is actually one of my favorite DJs, so you really need to download his mixes cuz they are EVERYTHING) said that the tweet was taken out of context and he is most assuredly on #TeamEitherWayWeF*ckin. I’m glad to know that.

But according to the barrage of tweets that followed in reaction to this, apparently, the fact that this was even brought up means that there are some men out there that actually care whether or not a woman’s brassiere matches her pannydrawls. REALLY? And allegedly, whether or not they match can be a determining factor when it comes to the quality of a woman’s vagina. Also, said underwear should only come from proper PannyDrawls Sellers like Victoria’s Secret or La Perla.

My mind. It is boggled.

While I know that men are visual creatures and *yada yada yada on down the line*, I don’t think that in the concurrent histories of underwear and sexual relations has a man ever decided at the site of blue-polka dotted panties from TJ Maxx paired with a pink stripped bra from Lane Bryant that there will be no smangin. I’m no certified Legacy Checker or Historical Knower, but I’d bet all of the $3 in my purse that it is a non-factor. I submit to you, good people, that the man that actually gives a hot buttered damn about anything more than whether or not the lady bits are so fresh n’ so clean isn’t all that interested in the lady’s bits from the start. That’s my word.

I also submit to you that because there is no male equivalent of such a “grown woman rule”, this was yet more Bee-Ess made up by some man in another sexist incident of female body policing. As if there isn’t enough of that going around. Can’t men just wait to be invited to our drawls before throwing around their opinions about them? Damn. Some of ya’ll act ya’ll gotta wear them. Jesus Children of America. iCan’t.

As The XD Experience so eloquently put it last night…

 

Welp.

~pbg

 

 

 

 

***Have you voted for Dirty Pretty Thangs in the Black Weblog Awards? I’m up for Best New Blog and Best Personal Blog, so click here and help me bring home the gold!! Or, ornately embossed certificate. Or whatever! Just vote for me, please!***
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Happy Black Girl Day: Guest Post from Lyrik: “I am a Woman: A Manifesta”

In honor of Happy Black Girl Day, I share my space here at Dirty Pretty Thangs with fellow Black Woman Writer, Porsha “Lyrik” Coleman. Lyrik has been a long-time supporter of my blog’s many incarnations and I am honored to provide a loving and safe space for her to share here. Thank you so much for your submission, Sister.

 

I am a Woman: A Manifesta

 

I am a woman, and I will stop apologizing for that. I will stop apologizing for being fat, for still feeling beautiful.I will stop apologizing for torturing myself with societies standards, magazine covers and people who disagree that i am beautiful beyond measure.

 

I am a woman and I will not be sorry, not today or tomorrow and hopefully never again. I will not be sorry that I like food, and laughter, that i like to fuck and be held, that i cry, and need to be heard.

I am a woman and I will not let my self worth be defined by ANYBODY else but me including marie claire magazine or psychology today. I will not display my body in exchange for a bill of goods bought and sold by men, women, governments and media.

I am black, and i will not barter my POWER because of it, I will not shrink, I will not die, I will not fold into stereotypes and statistics. I will not apologize for my hair, or nose, my statue or natural glow. I will not be sorry that I don’t wear makeup or heels. I will not be sorry for my arms, my hands, my feet, my legs, my lips, my breasts, my voice, my mind, my spirit, my soul, my flesh, my wants.

I will be tall without apology, I will not sit in the back of the room, or bus, or school, or office. I will love myself with passion and purpose. I will be a proverbs woman. I will no longer accept what is unworthy of me.

I am a woman, i can carry babies and civilizations. I can write anthologies and histories, I can be griot and worshiper, I can hold church and life. I can keep homes and secrets. I can read books and minds.

I am a woman i will defy all logic but God’s, I will remember I am made in his image, I will live in my highest consciousness. I will be everything I am meant to be.

I am a woman and I will stop apologizing for me…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lyrik is a Washington, DC based writer by passion and profession, whose work seeks to explore the intersections of gender, race, class, culture and spirituality. A blogosphere nomad Lyrik opts to spend more time waxing poetic on other people’s turf and resigning herself to writing anthology submissions, poetry, and personal testimony opposed to maintaining her own permanent space on the internet. When not writing she seeks to inspire, influence, and build community through film making, workshops, and panel discussions.
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