Archive for Natural Hair

“Go Comb Your Hair!” And Other Quips From The Loser Brigade

The other night I was out with my friend Kellie. We stopped in a 7-Eleven and happened upon a very crass and dusty Black man. He had to have been all of 35 years-old and had some fuzzy straight back cornrows. His entire essence gave me the impression that he’s either just finishing a stint in jail or about start one, undoubtedly related to unpaid child support or a botched robbery. This guy thought he’d talk very loudly about defecation in front of a few pretty women, no doubt to garner some attention and wow us with his charm. He defended his prepubescent potty humor chatter by saying “It’s natural!” Yeah, it is but let’s not pretend that if I had started talking about menstruation or childbirth he wouldn’t have fallen to pieces. I turned around to get a little cash for the evening from the ATM and when I was done, this grown ass Dust Bunny was still talking, being a complete jerk,  but had turned his attention to Kellie. So I frowned at his lameness. I’d had about enough of him at that point. He asks me “Why you frownin’ Miss Lady?” I chuckled at his utter ridiculousness and asked him “Why are you talking??” and we walked out. He ended up passing us on the sidewalk outside and yelled over to me “Shawty, don’t ever ask me why I’m talkin’ again.” Boy, bye…with your wack delayed response. Check this out:

Me: “Sir. Really? What are you gonna do? Like, for real?”

Him: “I ain’t gonna do nothin’; I ain’t gotta do nothin’.”

Me: “OK then. Gone and catch up with your friend. We’re done here.”

Him: “You need to go comb your hair!”

I tell this story to illustrate the utter ridiculousness of attempting to insult someone by making statements in relation to factual information. This is the logic of the unfunny, the hurt and the desperate. Fuzzy Wuzzy tried to come for me by saying that my hair was unkempt and needed combing. “Nappyheaded”, right? So original. So ironic. But the truth of the matter is I didn’t not comb my hair before I left home. I usually don’t because that’s not how I care for my hair. I’ve also been “insulted” (mostly by Angry Ugly Bitter Men) by being called “fat”, “short”, “Black”, some derivative of “old” (stop guessing at my age because you will never be right) and making mention of my wigs.

This is the laziest bullshyt I’ve ever had thrown my way.

Look, when you get mad and start making statements of fact about someone in order to alleviate your little hurt-ass feelings, you look like a fool. ESPECIALLY when you do it in a public forum (on the street/Twitter/Facebook/My blog comment sections). Calling a Black girl “Black” or a Fat Girl “fat” is silly and bland. No one is impressed. Telling a Naturalista to “go comb her hair” isn’t insulting, it’s nonsensical. Same for calling a woman in her 30’s “old”. I mean, that may make sense if you’re like 19 or have the mentality of a teenager. Either way, as a rational woman, there is simply no way I can respond to any of that and not look as shamefully stupid as the one attempting to hurl the insults. I would not even begin to waste the glory of my eviscerating wit on someone who will NEVER ever be a worthy opponent. You are King Zero No Higher of The Loser Brigade.

Besides, those things you point out to try to hurt my feelings are the very things that made you notice me in the first place, right? You just didn’t anticipate being so attracted to them. Make the world a better place and go deal with your issues.

 

~pbg

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Product Review: Curl Care by Dr.Miracle’s

I was recently contacted by the Public Relations Director at Dr.Miracle’s and asked if I’d be interested in reviewing their new product line, Curl Care, for kinky/curly/wavy hair. I said “Sure”, since I am a blogger with natural hair (not a “Natural Hair Blogger”). I was provided these products free of charge in exchange for my honest review.

Here’s what Dr.Miracle’s has to say about their new Curl Care products:

 

Dr. Miracle’s, a leader in the ethnic hair care category, introduces Curl Care by Dr. Miracle’s, its first-ever specialty collection designed specifically to treat and maintain natural, curly, and wavy hair.

A new trend is in the air: Texture is taking over! With more than 50% of African-American women no longer chemically-relaxing their hair, and the multicultural community embracing their curly hair textures, the need for treatment and styling products designed to preserve and enhance one’s natural hair is at an all-time high.

Rocking one’s homegrown waves, curls, coils, and kinks has become more than just a widespread style preference and a money-saver when it comes to salon visits; it’s a lifestyle. When investing one’s money, time, and energy into their beauty regimen, it’s essential to receive the right tools from a brand that she knows gets the job done. That’s why Dr. Miracle’s has created a line of products guaranteed to help users get and keep long-lasting, healthy, beautiful curls. Presenting Curl Care by Dr. Miracle’s

The line boasts Dr. Miracle’s unique honey and vitamin complex formula, which is
guaranteed to help hold curls for up to 12 hours. Each Curl Care product contains natural
ingredients and oils formulated to deliver the same quality results characteristic of all Dr.
Miracle’s brand products. Key nutrients, vitamins, and proteins vital to hair health, like
Jojoba, Coconut and Safflower Oils, Aloe, and Panthenol, were also infused into each
unique formula to moisturize, condition, and define for healthy, beautiful curls.
Rehydrating Shampoo (12 Fl Oz; $9.49)—Formulated with Vitamins A, E, and Panthenol,
use this low-suds shampoo at least once a week to hydrate curls without stripping essential
oils.
Nourishing Conditioner (12 Fl Oz; $9.49)—Blended with Coconut, Jojoba and Vitamin E to
moisturize, condition and soften each curl. Use this conditioner as a follow up to our Rehydrating Shampoo.

Frizz Control Serum (4 Fl Oz; $8.99)—Rich in Vitamin A and Olive Oil, use this
lightweight, non-greasy serum to fight tough humidity and curl shrinkage while it smooths
and adds shine.
Soft Hold Crème (12 Oz; $9.49)—Formulated with Aloe to soften and improve elasticity,
use this styling crème to individually define and hold curls. Perfect for styling two-strand
twists or other natural styles.
Weightless Moisturizing Crème (8 Oz; $8.99)—Blended with Coconut & Vitamin E, use
this lightweight, fast-absorbing crème to moisturize and add a natural shine while styling
curls.
Boosting & Defining Leave In Conditioner (8 Fl Oz; $8.99)—Infused with Jojoba and
Proteins, this leave-in conditioner detangles hair into soft, bouncy curls, helping to add definition to your curls.

Curl Care by Dr. Miracle’s arrives March 2012 at local drug chains, beauty supplies stores,
and online at www.drmiracles.com.

 

 

I will say that the packaging of the Curl Care products is very nice. I like the logo and all that. The products come in containers that are good sized and easily stored in drawers, cabinets or on shelves.

Curl Care by Dr.Miracles, sitting pretty on my vanity

 

I decided to do this review properly, I would use nothing but the Curl Care products for my entire hair care regimen. I usually use products from different lines when I do my hair because rarely do I like EVERYTHING that one company makes. So I took the Hydrating Shampoo and the Nourishing Conditioner to the shower with me so I could wash/condition/detangle, which is my Step One.

My hair before Dr.Miracles' Curl Care

The Hydrating Shampoo wasn’t anything special as far as shampoo goes. I felt like my hair was clean after using it. My problems with the Curl Care products began with the Nourishing Conditioner! OMG…this stuff is so medicated, the scent almost knocked me to the floor. I’d had a stuffy nose for about three days and while I was detangling my hair, my sinuses started draining. I wondered to myself “What’s the active ingredient in this stuff, Vick’s Vapor Rub??” Not only did the product smell awful, it actually had my head burning a little bit. I felt like someone had tricked me into getting a relaxer! I was so glad to rinse that stuff out. Conditioner is not supposed to smell or feel like that. That Curl Care Nourishing Conditioner gets a big fat “F” from me.

Look at me. I look horrified. Scared for my kinks!

Close-up of the Nourishing Conditioner in my hair

 

After drying my hair with a T-shirt to get most of the water out, I applied the Weightless Moisturizing Crème to seal in the moisture from the water, then Boosting and Defining Leave-In Conditioner.

Curl Care Weightless Moisturizing Creme

 

Boosting and Defining Leave-In Conditioner

These products weren’t so bad, except they too have the same heavy medicated smell. I don’t like that all. Healthy hair doesn’t smell like medicine. I think they’re really taking the whole “Dr.Miracles” thing too literally. I don’t want my hair to smell like some kind of science fair experiment.

My hair with the Moisturizing Creme and Leave-In Conditioner in it.

 

I decided to do my favorite style, a braid-out. I usually achieve this big fluffy textured Afro look by applying a product that will give good hold and definition then either cornrowing my hair or putting in a few box braids. I rubbed the Curl Care Soft Hold Crème through my hair section by section as I braided my hair and then when each braid was finished, I rubbed the Frizz Control Serum down the length of each braid and put a satin-covered roller on the end.

My braids to set my style.

I don’t know how the style will turn out quite yet, but I honestly don’t anticipate any disasters. These two styling products feel like they will make my hair look good, but since they have that weird medicated smell like the others, I wouldn’t be surprised if they dried my hair out. Ugh…that will be something I’ll have to fix.

For me, the care a product gives my hair is paramount. Style is secondary because hair that isn’t cared for properly and becomes unhealthy due to using products that aren’t good won’t really look good either. I am not satisfied at all with the Curl Care products by Dr.Miracle’s. They don’t make my hair feel loved or cared for at all. These products seem to make the assumption that kinky/curly/wavy hair is “sick” and needs to be “cured” with a whole bunch of medicated goop. That’s not what’s up, Doc.

I’m sitting under the dryer now so I can possibly have a hairdo for work tomorrow, so I will post pictures the results of my braid out using the Curl Care by Dr.Miracles  styling products on Little Dirty Pretty Thangs in a day or two. But I can honestly say I wouldn’t recommend this line of  products to anyone. I definitely won’t be using them again. Curl Care is NOT what the “doctor” ordered for my hair.

~pbg

 

 

 

 

ABOUT DR. MIRACLE’S
Since its 2004 inception, Dr. Miracle’s, a leader in the ethnic personal care industry, has grown to market over
30 products highlighting the importance of repairing and enhancing one’s natural hair. After 7 successful years,
the brand now celebrates its evolution with a new logo, new packaging, and the affirmation that ‘Dr. Miracle’s
helps you get and keep healthy, beautiful hair’. Dr. Miracle’s products retail in the US, Canada, Caribbean,
Europe, Africa (Ghana, Ivory Coast, South Africa, Tanzania, Senegal). In the US, products are available
nationwide at local beauty and barber stores, national chains including Target, Wal*Mart, Kmart, Sally’s Beauty
Supply, CVS, Walgreens and Rite-Aid; and online at major drug chains websites and www.DrMiracles.com
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Dear Tyra Banks: “TypeF”?? TypeWhatTheF Is More Like It!

Dear Tyra,

Hey Girl. Hey. What’s going on? Still out there being a media mogul and all? Yeah, Sis! You betta werk. You’re on your way to being the next Oprah. Possibly. Maybe. Just say your prayers every night then rise n’ grind. As for me, I’m cool, just doing the things I do, trying to make my mama proud and not catch any charges.

I’m writing you today because I’ve spent the better part of the last 18 hours trying to figure out just WhatTheF is up with the makeup and hair tutorials on your TypeF.com website. Those videos are everything that is wrong in the world, my sister. Beyond atrocious. Tyra, have you seen that bullshyt? HAVE YOU?!?! I am absolutely appalledI refuse to believe you signed off on any of it. Based the About Us section of TypeF.com, part of which I will quote for you here:

“typeF.com is a groundbreaking fashion and beauty platform that offers women the personalized style know-how they are looking for, when and where they want it, at home or on the go. Inspired by Tyra Banks and her mission to redefine beauty, typeF.com is a community built on the celebration of diversity and the ideal of empowering women to be their very best.”

It says “inspired by Tyra Banks”. Now, in all the years I’ve been a fan of yours and following your career I’ve never really known you to allow your name or likeness to be associated with anything less amazing and positive. That’s why I’m a fan of yours! But Girlfriend, ain’t NOTHING positive or amazing about this eyebrow tutorial:


There is no way on this good green Earth this should be posted and labeled as “professional look” anywhere on the Innanets. How is this an eyebrow tutorial and that lady’s eyebrows couldn’t even be bothered to show up to the set? That lady looks like Pennywise.

#ThemEyebrows

I simply cannot, Tyra. You know you know better.

And what disturbs me the most are the natural hair tutorials on TypeF:

Girl, what in the whole hell was that?? Did you hear all that breakage happening as she raked her DRY HAIR with that paddle brush?? Natural or not, when brushing one’s hair, it should not sound like 1000 ashy negroes snapping their fingers. AND WHERE ARE HER EDGES? In the Federal Witness Protection Program with Naomi’s?? She is supposed to be “teaching” somebody something? Girl, bye. All she taught me is how utterly ridiculous she is. As a hardcore Naturalista myself, I find this tutorial to be laughable. Laughable, disrespectful, dangerous and IRRESPONSIBLE. Plain not thinkin’. Every video this so called “hair stylist” posted is chocked full of fcukshyt. Tyra, there are literally HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of women who turn to Youtube for video tutorials to learn how to do their own hair and makeup, trying to look their very best. For TypeF to be posting this kind of unforgivable aesthetic ass-hattery…it just has “IDGAF” written all over it, signed by you. I am very offended!!! I expect so much better from ANYTHING associated with Tyra Lynne Banks!

Explain yourself, Tyra. How can you allow this to be representative of your brand? I forgave you for giving some of the ANTM girls some horrible weaves over the years because over the years you’ve generally done well by those aspiring models. I even looked  the other way when some of the episodes of your talk show were a little more ratchet than I could stand, because I believe in you, Tyra! I was rooting for you! We were ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!!!

Oh, wait.

But anyway, this TypeWTF foolishness I cannot and will not understand. I can’t get behind this at all and I need to know how a woman like you, who says she cares SO MUCH about young girls can endorse this level of flaming hot mess. I had to be convinced that those videos were not part of a parody account of some sort. Good Lord. Either take those videos down and get some REAL natural hair and makeup vloggers to contribute to the site (and there are A’PLENTY) or take your good name off of it. It is currently the laughing stock of the Internet and I for one am CTFU.

With love, hope, charity and NO INTENTIONS on taking that site seriously,

~pbg

 

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Hey You Asked: Advice For A Transitioning Naturalista

Dear PBG,

                I am 24 yrs old and have never had the interest or desire to transition to natural hair until now. My hair was falling out in patches and the breakage was unbearable.  I cut my hair in May and I haven’t had a perm since February. I have been researching how to transition to natural hair but everywhere I look someone is talking about THE BIG CHOP, weaves or wigs. I need your help!!!! Please let me know what I can do with my hair to make this transition without THE BIG CHOP or weaves. I don’t mind braids but I would love to wear my hair out and enjoy it while I make this healthy transition. Please give me any advice you can as far as products I can use and easy hairstyles. I refuse to do THE BIG CHOP.  My hair and I would go into shock, so any advice, tips, forums or links you can tell me about would be great.

 

 Thank You,

Natural Hair Crybaby

 

Hey Naturalista! Don’t cry. It’s not as difficult as you think it is.

First off, I think the reason that people recommend the Big Chop over transitioning is because hanging on to permed ends isn’t the best choice when going natural. The “line of demarcation” is where your fresh natural texture new growth meets your permed hair:

source: www.antihairslave.com

That is where your hair is weakest when you’re growing your hair out and it is very susceptible to breakage. In reality, there is no real reason to hang on to permed ends if you’re going to stop using relaxers. But, I know that we tend to want to hang on to our length. Believe me, I know. I transitioned for a year before I just gave up and chopped. That Length Struggle be REAL for Black girls! LOL! But that doesn’t mean you can’t hold on to your length while you grown your hair out. It just means you have to be very careful. Minimal heat and minimal manipulation and what I like to call “mini chops”. “Mini chops” are when you get a little bit of the perm cut out every few months until it’s all gone. That way you will save yourself and your hair from “shock”. LOL…when I read that part of your letter I laughed out loud…Hair grows back! I promise! LOL!  Since you don’t mind braids, those would be a perfect protective style for you.

My friend Kellie held on to her permed ends for a long time, so when I was doing her hair through her transition time, the styles that worked best were roller/rod sets and bantu knot-outs. You can find tutorials for these very simple styles on Youtube. Once we cut off Kellie’s permed hair, her curls POPPED like crazy and her hair seemed to grow faster than before and she was just more satisfied with her hair. Eventually you will too, so don’t fret.

As for products, I am a big fan of Oyin Handmade products (burnt sugar pomade, juices n’ berries moisturizing spray)  and Shea Moisture products (deep treatment masque, curl & style milk) for styling. My favorite shampoo is Dr.Bronner’s All-In-One Peppermint Soap and my favorite conditioner is Tresseme Naturals for curly hair. I use EcoStyler Olive Oil or Aragan Oil Gels exclusively and Lottabody Olive Oil Styling Foam for roller and rod sets. I use Giovanni Direct Leave-In Conditioner exclusively now after starting out with Cantu Shea Butter Leave In last year. My favorite oils are extra virgin coconut oil, extra virgin olive oil and apricot oil. In winter when I prefer something heavier I use avocado butter or castor oil.

Check out these blogs/forums for more advice on transitioning and caring for your natural hair:

Curly Nikki

Back To Curly

 

 

(I’ll add more later, but these are the ones I read regularly).

And while I don’t always post a lot on technique and care for natural hair, I tend to write a lot about attitudes and experiences with natural hair. Click on that tag at the top of my post to check out some of it.

I hope this helps and feel free to ask any other questions you have!

 

Dedicated Readers, any additional advice for this transitioning Naturalista? Feel free to drop links and tips in the comment section. Thanks!

 

~pbg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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