Archive for Friends

Compassion: Love Anyway

I was up late last night talking to my very good girlfriend Kellie via G-Chat. The conversation went from her missing her mama, who passed away 364 days ago, to the death yesterday of Amy Winehouse. These subjects and the fact that we were talking about them at 2:30am relate intimately in our hearts and minds. We were ranting and lamenting the lack of compassion we’ve noticed among the people in our various online communities. Social Media at its worst, as it seems. Kellie was having a conversation with a guy she grew up with in Cleveland via Facebook. He said that he didn’t feel sorry for Amy Winehouse because “she had money and could have gotten better but she made a mockery of rehab.”

Full stop.

Really? Money cures addiction now?

His supposition was also that her “wealth” gave her access to “The Betty Ford Center” and that’s something that the average addict can’t get. Kellie said she saw comments like this spread far and wide throughout her Twitter stream and Facebook news feed and it was simply disgusting to her. I agree. I chose to abstain from both just to avoid the mass display of dispassion amongst my fellow human beings. It’s something I just could not face in the wake of such a tragic death and so close to the anniversary of Kellie losing her mama.

Kellie and I are both adult children of parents who have struggled with the disease of addiction. We know that addiction is a disease that is no respecter of persons or their wealth, fame, material trappings or lack thereof. That disease reaches across race, gender, class, sexual orientation, religious affiliation or any other “differences” that have been cooked up to keep people divided and comfortable with killing, abusing and ignoring each other. It reaches with a grip stronger than anything most human beings have ever experienced. Addiction chokes the life out of individuals, families and communities. A suffocating beast. Lack of compassion on world/national/local/individual levels gives this beast even more strength. Please understand this as truth.

I had to advise Kellie to bow out of that conversation because it seemed like an exercise in futility. This guy’s need to judge Ms.Winehouse’s behavior in the midst of her addiction seemed like it was more important than understanding exactly what addiction is and remembering that above all else, she was a human being first.

“A major component of compassion is acknowledging that just because an issue doesn’t personally affect you doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist”. ~My good friend Nova.

After that conversation with Kellie last night, I woke up thinking about this quote from Nova. I wonder when the great need to feel superior to others began to overshadow the simplicity of compassion. There are physical and/or psychological battles that others live through or die from that we may or may not understand, but despite our lack of understanding, those battles still exist. They are very real. I’ve never smoked crack or abused alcohol or nicotine, but I know there are demons in this world that will chase a person down that road of escapism. I understand that there are just things in this world that are bigger than we are. Both good and bad. But, I love anyway.

Love, anyway. Despite and just because. Love anyway.

Peace to those who are battling addiction and are counting seconds/hours/days clean and sober. Peace to those who fought valiantly but didn’t make it through. Peace to those who never knew how to fight. Peace to all those standing on the sidelines, touched exponentially. 

 

~pbg

 

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Happy Black Girl Day: Guest Post from Lyrik: “I am a Woman: A Manifesta”

In honor of Happy Black Girl Day, I share my space here at Dirty Pretty Thangs with fellow Black Woman Writer, Porsha “Lyrik” Coleman. Lyrik has been a long-time supporter of my blog’s many incarnations and I am honored to provide a loving and safe space for her to share here. Thank you so much for your submission, Sister.

 

I am a Woman: A Manifesta

 

I am a woman, and I will stop apologizing for that. I will stop apologizing for being fat, for still feeling beautiful.I will stop apologizing for torturing myself with societies standards, magazine covers and people who disagree that i am beautiful beyond measure.

 

I am a woman and I will not be sorry, not today or tomorrow and hopefully never again. I will not be sorry that I like food, and laughter, that i like to fuck and be held, that i cry, and need to be heard.

I am a woman and I will not let my self worth be defined by ANYBODY else but me including marie claire magazine or psychology today. I will not display my body in exchange for a bill of goods bought and sold by men, women, governments and media.

I am black, and i will not barter my POWER because of it, I will not shrink, I will not die, I will not fold into stereotypes and statistics. I will not apologize for my hair, or nose, my statue or natural glow. I will not be sorry that I don’t wear makeup or heels. I will not be sorry for my arms, my hands, my feet, my legs, my lips, my breasts, my voice, my mind, my spirit, my soul, my flesh, my wants.

I will be tall without apology, I will not sit in the back of the room, or bus, or school, or office. I will love myself with passion and purpose. I will be a proverbs woman. I will no longer accept what is unworthy of me.

I am a woman, i can carry babies and civilizations. I can write anthologies and histories, I can be griot and worshiper, I can hold church and life. I can keep homes and secrets. I can read books and minds.

I am a woman i will defy all logic but God’s, I will remember I am made in his image, I will live in my highest consciousness. I will be everything I am meant to be.

I am a woman and I will stop apologizing for me…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lyrik is a Washington, DC based writer by passion and profession, whose work seeks to explore the intersections of gender, race, class, culture and spirituality. A blogosphere nomad Lyrik opts to spend more time waxing poetic on other people’s turf and resigning herself to writing anthology submissions, poetry, and personal testimony opposed to maintaining her own permanent space on the internet. When not writing she seeks to inspire, influence, and build community through film making, workshops, and panel discussions.
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Happy Black Girl Day: A Review of “Running: AMOK”, A Musical Stage Play by Liberated Muse Productions

Last night, thanks to the generosity of my good friends Liz and Jamal, I had the opportunity to attend a performance of “Running: AMOK”, a musical stage play by Liberated Muse Productions.

 

The performance was held at The Corner Store Gallery, an art space on Capitol Hill here in DC. The play was written, directed and produced by Khadijah Ali-Coleman, a Black woman playwright, author and lyricist located in the DC area. Khadijah is co-founder of Liberated Muse Productions and the Capitol Hip-Hop Soul Festival. I can say with all honesty that going in with absolutely no prior knowledge of what this play was about I was absolutely blown away. This play tackles what I’ve always considered to be one the most controversial topics for Black women: when we admit that motherhood is hard and damn near drives us over the edge.

The cast includes :

  • Quiniece as “LaChelle”
  • Rayona L. Young (my VERY good girlfriend)  as “Nina”
  • Nia Simmons as “Lyn” (Nina’s Cousin/Business Manager)
  • Deja Belle as “Camille”
  • Lyn Artope as “Benny” (Camille’s mom)
  • Colette Williams as “Mama Belle”

 

“Running: AMOK” tells the story of three creative women who find themselves pregnant in the middle of their careers and how each one deals with her new reality. The play opens with each of the women telling the people closest to them about their pregnancies. One woman, LaChelle, a singer and single, is ecstatic about her pending motherhood and wastes no time telling all her friends and family the good news. Camille, an author living at home with her parents, seems ambivalent but confident, much to her mother, Benny’s chagrin. Nina, a high-profile fashion designer, tells her cousin/manager Lyn that she plans on getting an abortion, but doesn’t go through with it.

The three women eventually meet in the waiting room of a psychiatrist, nine months post-partum. Motherhood is nothing what any of them imagined. LaChelle’s boyfriend left her right before her baby was  born and she lost her singing gig, Camille’s writing contracts are drying up and Nina has no time to devout to her art, she’s overwhelmed by the demands of mothering AND her husband. Each of these women are their own overheated pots about to boil over and explode. The wise Mama Belle, an eccentric mother of 3 grown children, grandmother of one, singer, wife and business owner shows up and drops pearls of wisdom on the new moms in that waiting room that none of them expected to receive.

What impressed me the most about this play is each of these characters are like women all of us know and they actually talk about the realities of being a mother and still wanting to “be” at the same time. Too often, women are told that they must become some “Martyr of Motherhood” and die in spirit in order to raise a child successfully. We’re shamed by our family and community when we admit to not taking well to motherhood right away or even when we hit a wall and become frustrated and confused by our children. “Running: AMOK” adresses these points and more. As a mother and creative woman, I could relate to so much of what each of the characters was going through. It felt good to finally have these things said out in the open. And I must say that I was so glad that “Running: AMOK” showed these Black women seeking THERAPY!! Chasing wellness and happiness!

The play was funny, poignant, and emotional. It is extremely well-written and you definitely hear Khadijah telling her own very personal story as a mom and creative woman through the dialogue.  The songs were great and the actors/singers were all amazing, across the board. I can definitely see this small community production growing and going above and beyond what anybody in the audience could realize. I am so glad I was able to attend such an awesome performance.

Liz, me & our friend Rayona, who played "Nina" in the play "Running: AMOK"

 

If you are in the DC Metro Area over the next few days, please make your way to a performance of Running: AMOK. Click here for more information on this play and how to purchase tickets.

 

 

~pbg

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Requiem For A Bright Star: R.I.P. Lorenzo Paige, aka “Putt”.

 

 

This is my friend Lorenzo Paige, aka “Putt”. He and I went to Scott Montgomery Elementary School, Shaw Junior High School and Dunbar Senior High School together back in the 1980s and 1990s,  all in the Shaw neighborhood of NW DC. When we were all growing up together around the way, Putt was the boy who stuck up for me when the other kids teased me for being short, skinny and “nerdy”. He claimed me as “Lil’ Sis”. He always looked out for me. I can remember how he’d always have a hug and a kind word and bright smile on his face. He was one of the smartest kids in school and easy going. He was everybody’s friend. We were in marching band together and even took a class together in high school. When my class had our 10 year reunion in 2001, Putt was the photographer for our event. This picture is how Putt showed up for his 20th High School reunion last year. Everybody thought it was HILARIOUS! He came in loud, partying hard and got everything started. Bright and happy…the life of the party as usual.

Nobody knew he had been recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer until he told us all via Facebook. He went on to document his illness and treatment through Facebook notes to all of us that knew and loved him. He recounted everything his doctors said, how the meds made him feel and even the complications and the fact that the cancer had metastasized. While we prayed for him, he prayed for us. Putt wrote this in a note on March 16 after a particularly grueling chemo session:

Thank you all again for your prayers and words of inspiration. I really do appreciate them. I pray for you all also and the problems that you are going through because we all have some type of problem.

Putt died this morning. I’m am crying over the loss of my friend right now. I’m crying hard. One of the brightest lights of my childhood went out today and it hurts so much more than I thought it would. I’m so sad, but I’m so glad I got to party with him that last time at his class reunion. I’m glad that I got to know him in my lifetime. I consider it an honor.  He was one of the smartest and caring people I’ve known in my life. I’m going to miss him. Condolences to his entire family and to the neighborhood and school family as well.  Godspeed to his spirit as he leaves behind the pain and enters into everlasting spiritual peace.

 

~pbg

 

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