I was up late last night talking to my very good girlfriend Kellie via G-Chat. The conversation went from her missing her mama, who passed away 364 days ago, to the death yesterday of Amy Winehouse. These subjects and the fact that we were talking about them at 2:30am relate intimately in our hearts and minds. We were ranting and lamenting the lack of compassion we’ve noticed among the people in our various online communities. Social Media at its worst, as it seems. Kellie was having a conversation with a guy she grew up with in Cleveland via Facebook. He said that he didn’t feel sorry for Amy Winehouse because “she had money and could have gotten better but she made a mockery of rehab.”

Full stop.

Really? Money cures addiction now?

His supposition was also that her “wealth” gave her access to “The Betty Ford Center” and that’s something that the average addict can’t get. Kellie said she saw comments like this spread far and wide throughout her Twitter stream and Facebook news feed and it was simply disgusting to her. I agree. I chose to abstain from both just to avoid the mass display of dispassion amongst my fellow human beings. It’s something I just could not face in the wake of such a tragic death and so close to the anniversary of Kellie losing her mama.

Kellie and I are both adult children of parents who have struggled with the disease of addiction. We know that addiction is a disease that is no respecter of persons or their wealth, fame, material trappings or lack thereof. That disease reaches across race, gender, class, sexual orientation, religious affiliation or any other “differences” that have been cooked up to keep people divided and comfortable with killing, abusing and ignoring each other. It reaches with a grip stronger than anything most human beings have ever experienced. Addiction chokes the life out of individuals, families and communities. A suffocating beast. Lack of compassion on world/national/local/individual levels gives this beast even more strength. Please understand this as truth.

I had to advise Kellie to bow out of that conversation because it seemed like an exercise in futility. This guy’s need to judge Ms.Winehouse’s behavior in the midst of her addiction seemed like it was more important than understanding exactly what addiction is and remembering that above all else, she was a human being first.

“A major component of compassion is acknowledging that just because an issue doesn’t personally affect you doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist”. ~My good friend Nova.

After that conversation with Kellie last night, I woke up thinking about this quote from Nova. I wonder when the great need to feel superior to others began to overshadow the simplicity of compassion. There are physical and/or psychological battles that others live through or die from that we may or may not understand, but despite our lack of understanding, those battles still exist. They are very real. I’ve never smoked crack or abused alcohol or nicotine, but I know there are demons in this world that will chase a person down that road of escapism. I understand that there are just things in this world that are bigger than we are. Both good and bad. But, I love anyway.

Love, anyway. Despite and just because. Love anyway.

Peace to those who are battling addiction and are counting seconds/hours/days clean and sober. Peace to those who fought valiantly but didn’t make it through. Peace to those who never knew how to fight. Peace to all those standing on the sidelines, touched exponentially. 

~pbg