For some reason, some of the parents of the kids in my class at work have decided that my first name requires an apostrophe. Not that I’ve ever on that job or any time in my entire life written or signed my name like this:
Ca’Shawn
But apparently, folks at the job place assume that my name is supposed to look like that. Why? I feel like it has EVERYTHING to do with the fact that I am a Black Girl and the assumptions people like to make about our names. Say what you will about me and my assumptions, but there is nothing you can say that will make me think otherwise. People swear they know Black Girls, despite the fact that we are erased and disregarded more than anybody else on the planet.
And more than I hate seeing that Random Apostrophe just thrown into my name, I hate that the assumption is made that it should be there, especially if you’ve never seen it before.
FACT: I am too old to have a Random Apostrophe in my name.
I am of the generation of Random Capitalizations. Black Girls born between 1969 and 1982 don’t have Random Apostrophes in our names. That particular brand of creativity wasn’t even en vogue yet. But I can’t tell you how many LaJuans, LaShawns, LaRaes, ShaRondas, etc that I went all through school with over the years.
Random Apostrophes weren’t hot in the streets until well into the ’80s. This is a Black History Month. Get familiar with our culture if you’re gonna deal with me!
But yeah, kill the Random Apostrophe, because I’m a Black Girl Gen Xer and my name is my name.
I was at work sitting in the break room checking my Facebook when I found out via my newsfeed that Don Cornelius had died today, in an apparent suicide. Just in case you’re totally un-hip and an unprecedented BAMMA, Don Cornelius created “Soul Train” back in the early 1970s and for decades it was the #1 place on TV to showcase Black Music and all other elements of Black Culture, from, fashion, hairstyles, language, dance, etc. Go check it out on Youtube and get your entire life!
It was such a shock that I felt like someone had kicked me in the gut. All the air was knocked out of me. The legendary creator and host of Soul Train was gone, and in such a sad way. I said a quick prayer for a Peaceful Journey, hoping that whatever sadness enveloped him to the point of suffocation had finally released him in transition. Depression hurts, y’all. Sometimes folks believe that killing themselves is the only way to make the pain go away. Please remember to Love. Always in every way.
Then I started to think about what the iconic Black dance & music show Soul Train has meant to me in my life. It was a very vivid and important part of my early childhood. I remember that the very first time I’d ever laid eyes on Michael Jackson, it was when he was performing on Soul Train with his brothers. I think I was about 4 or 5 years old, so it had to have been 1977 or 1978 and I knew in that moment that I was in Love. Whatever Love means to a preschooler. But outside of that heart & soul-defining moment, I remember that Soul Train was the show that we watched on Saturdays after cartoons went off and we got to see all the singers and bands that we listened to on the radio and on albums any other time. This a period of time before music videos, so Soul Train is how I found out that Black artists were amazing and beautiful to look at. As I got a little older, I was REALLY into the hair/makeup/fashion of the women I saw dancing on Soul Train. Black Girls shaking their Groove Thang and being oh so flyy in the process! So much inspiration for a little Black Girl trying to find her beauty in the sea of Whiteness that is mainstream American media. Yes, Soul Train was as much a part of my growing up as double-dutch and roller skating were. Soul Train taught me to Body Roll! To this day, whenever I hit the dance floor and get into a good groove, I like to imagine myself as some Better Than Everything Black Girl dancing on Soul Train. Twirlin’. Dippin’ Low & Bringin’ It Back Up. We all have the innovation of Mr.Don Cornelius for that. I am so grateful for the legacy that he leaves behind. Thank you.
Here’s a clip I found of Mr.Don Cornelius going down the Soul Train Line, TWICE. He says it was his very first time! The man had some moves! Check it out:
"Are You Red-dy" by Maybelline. My favorite red lippie right now.
So, this whole “Red Lipstick For Black Girls” has been an issue for me for a little while. OK, for a long while. Mainly because wearing red lipstick is allegedly yet another thing that Black Girls aren’t supposed to do. A few weeks ago, I asked around the Internet to see what other people knew about the racial & gender-based sin of wearing red lipstick. Here’s what I was told by those who chose to respond to my question “Why is it that Black Girls aren’t supposed to wear red lipstick??”
It’s trashy
It’s whorish
It’s for “loose” and “fast” women
Black Girls’ lips are too big
Everything ain’t for everybody
Black Girls’ Black is too black
Define “red”
You see how MOST of that has to do with alleged sexual promiscuity and hypersexualization of Black women? Sprinkle in a bit of classism, colorism and self-hate and you get a bunch of B.S. notions on what’s good for Black Girls. A lot of these answers extended to the wearing of red clothing and even wearing red nail polish.
Now, my Wise & Beautiful Mother was the first to bring up the hurtful imagery of the Lil’ Black Sambo stereotype as a reason why some Black women probably shy away from wearing red lipstick.
This isn't even the worst picture that came up in the Google Image Search.
Just looking at how we’ve historically been presented to the world in such an ignorant manner is painful. Now this right here [coupled with the aforementioned bullet pointed bullshyt] I can see causing a Black Girl to believe that red lipstick isn’t for her. All of this is painful, ugly and most of all, UNTRUE.
I’ve learned in my lifetime of playing in makeup, that the key to wearing it well is that you have to find out what works for you. I don’t care what race you are, if you don’t know that then you’re pretty much screwed in the Face Painting game. That goes for foundation, eyeshadows, blushes and RED LIPSTICK. It is my sincere belief that ANYBODY can wear red lipstick, but especially a Black Girl. Most colors look good on us anyway, thanks to having so much melanin in our skin. All you have to do is find the shade of red that works for you. Some of us can rock a candy apple shade, others look best with brick red. Still others may need something even deeper…or not. Just be brave and try some on. I got my first red lipstick from Sephora years ago and I’ve been in love with that color on my lips ever since.
I asked for the Black ladies who read this blog and/or follow me on Twitter/Facebook/Tumblr to submit pictures of themselves wearing their red lipsticks to show just how damn well we wear the red and I was overwhelmed by the response! This slideshow is the result of the 30-plus gorgeous pictures I received:
Don’t let what some other fearful and misinformed person has to say about how our lips look and what the color “red” means overall scare you away from embracing such a beautiful and rich color as red. Believe in your own beauty, no matter what color you rock! Nobody gets to tell Black Girls what colors ain’t for us…ALL the colors are in us! We look good in red and the proof is right here before your eyes.
Do you wear red lipstick? Why or Why Not?
What have you heard in regards to Black Girls and red lipstick?
If you do wear red lips, what’s your favorite red lippie?
Can we talk about Jennifer Hudson being in cahoots with those “diet” people over at Weight Watchers to make people think that FAT=HORRIBLE & TACKY? Yes, let’s do that. I’ve been meaning to rant about this for at least a week. I’m about sick and tired of seeing Jennifer Hudson in these awful TV ads for Weight Watchers. She’s been wailing like a newly-freed slave for those Weight Watchers coins ever since she gave birth to her son. Weight Watchers apparently thinks that not only is Jennifer Hudson is of, at least, mediocre intellect, that the rest of us fat-ass [Black] women watching TV are as well. While all of Jennifer’s Weight Watchers commercials have rubbed me the wrong way in general, I have to say this one here is the one that REALLY makes me wanna slap the wig off of somebody’s head:
In this ad, the Fat and Tacky Jennifer in the ugly dress and cheap curly weave that we all remember from American Idol is singing “I Believe In You and Me” (The Antebellum mix by DJ Toby Kinte From the “Give Us Us Free mixtape) and out of the shadows comes present day, New and Improved Jennifer Hudson in a fabulous dress, bone straight, high quality weave hair and of course 100lbs lighter (or whatever it is that she lost). New and Improved Jennifer goes on to do a duet with Fat and Tacky Jennifer that only sounds like two Black Baptist Girls fighting for a solo, all in the name of convincing us to lose weight. OK, cool. Whatever.
Have a damn seat.
But I find this commercial most disturbing because most of us understand that Old and Tacky Jennifer didn’t have the same access [read :money] to the things/practices/procedures that made New and Improved Jennifer able to look the way that she does now. Let’s pretend that New and Improved Jennifer never lost the weight. Here’s what you have:
This Jennifer won the Grammy, Golden Globe & Oscar. New & Improved Jennifer ain't doing shyt but singing for Weight Watchers.
There are a couple of things I need Weight Watchers to stop trying to telling us using Jennifer Hudson, a beautiful, rich Black woman, to do it:
Stop telling us there is something inherently wrong with Fat Bodies. There isn’t. This isn’t about how much anyone cares about fat women’s health, because they really don’t. This is about playing into the insecurities of women who have been lead to believe that skinny = best-thing-on-Earth-and-if-you’re-not-you-are-ugly/sick/undesirable.For profit. Everybody should know by now that “fat” doesn’t necessarily equal “unhealthy”. Body policing and fat shaming needs to die in these mean American Streets.
Stop telling us through these awful commercials that tired ass “This could be you story”. The average woman (who is a size 12/14, by the way) is not going to be able to transform like Jennifer did without Jennifer’s funds. And those funds came to be via the success she enjoyed with her Fat Body.
Quite frankly, I’d respect Jennifer more if she were doing ads for hair weave, makeup and body shapers. That’s a more accurate depiction of who she “is” now.
