Archive for Beauty & Style

Dear Tyra Banks: “TypeF”?? TypeWhatTheF Is More Like It!

Dear Tyra,

Hey Girl. Hey. What’s going on? Still out there being a media mogul and all? Yeah, Sis! You betta werk. You’re on your way to being the next Oprah. Possibly. Maybe. Just say your prayers every night then rise n’ grind. As for me, I’m cool, just doing the things I do, trying to make my mama proud and not catch any charges.

I’m writing you today because I’ve spent the better part of the last 18 hours trying to figure out just WhatTheF is up with the makeup and hair tutorials on your TypeF.com website. Those videos are everything that is wrong in the world, my sister. Beyond atrocious. Tyra, have you seen that bullshyt? HAVE YOU?!?! I am absolutely appalledI refuse to believe you signed off on any of it. Based the About Us section of TypeF.com, part of which I will quote for you here:

“typeF.com is a groundbreaking fashion and beauty platform that offers women the personalized style know-how they are looking for, when and where they want it, at home or on the go. Inspired by Tyra Banks and her mission to redefine beauty, typeF.com is a community built on the celebration of diversity and the ideal of empowering women to be their very best.”

It says “inspired by Tyra Banks”. Now, in all the years I’ve been a fan of yours and following your career I’ve never really known you to allow your name or likeness to be associated with anything less amazing and positive. That’s why I’m a fan of yours! But Girlfriend, ain’t NOTHING positive or amazing about this eyebrow tutorial:


There is no way on this good green Earth this should be posted and labeled as “professional look” anywhere on the Innanets. How is this an eyebrow tutorial and that lady’s eyebrows couldn’t even be bothered to show up to the set? That lady looks like Pennywise.

#ThemEyebrows

I simply cannot, Tyra. You know you know better.

And what disturbs me the most are the natural hair tutorials on TypeF:

Girl, what in the whole hell was that?? Did you hear all that breakage happening as she raked her DRY HAIR with that paddle brush?? Natural or not, when brushing one’s hair, it should not sound like 1000 ashy negroes snapping their fingers. AND WHERE ARE HER EDGES? In the Federal Witness Protection Program with Naomi’s?? She is supposed to be “teaching” somebody something? Girl, bye. All she taught me is how utterly ridiculous she is. As a hardcore Naturalista myself, I find this tutorial to be laughable. Laughable, disrespectful, dangerous and IRRESPONSIBLE. Plain not thinkin’. Every video this so called “hair stylist” posted is chocked full of fcukshyt. Tyra, there are literally HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of women who turn to Youtube for video tutorials to learn how to do their own hair and makeup, trying to look their very best. For TypeF to be posting this kind of unforgivable aesthetic ass-hattery…it just has “IDGAF” written all over it, signed by you. I am very offended!!! I expect so much better from ANYTHING associated with Tyra Lynne Banks!

Explain yourself, Tyra. How can you allow this to be representative of your brand? I forgave you for giving some of the ANTM girls some horrible weaves over the years because over the years you’ve generally done well by those aspiring models. I even looked  the other way when some of the episodes of your talk show were a little more ratchet than I could stand, because I believe in you, Tyra! I was rooting for you! We were ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!!!

Oh, wait.

But anyway, this TypeWTF foolishness I cannot and will not understand. I can’t get behind this at all and I need to know how a woman like you, who says she cares SO MUCH about young girls can endorse this level of flaming hot mess. I had to be convinced that those videos were not part of a parody account of some sort. Good Lord. Either take those videos down and get some REAL natural hair and makeup vloggers to contribute to the site (and there are A’PLENTY) or take your good name off of it. It is currently the laughing stock of the Internet and I for one am CTFU.

With love, hope, charity and NO INTENTIONS on taking that site seriously,

~pbg

 

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Infant Swag: Crown Royal Baby Booties

Can we talk about how this right here is a real thing???

 

Oh yes, it’s real. I saw this on Tumblr last night and thought it might be photoshopped. I mean…really. Who would make baby booties out of the Crown Royal bag?? WHO??? Some lady with an Etsy shop, apparently. These are a real thing that is happening in the world. Classy ass baby booties for the infant of the finest liquor connoisseur, made to order for your Tiny Tot. Please note the disclaimer: “Please note, this bootie is not meant to encourage infant alcoholism, merely to celebrate the beauty of the Crown Royal bag, and the product that comes inside of the bag.”

This is truly a dirty pretty thang. I honestly feel like I have ABSOLUTELY seen everything at this point. What else could there possibly be???

Any thoughts on this, Dedicated Readers?

 

~pbg

 

****UPDATE****

Shortly after this post went up, I got a message from a woman I assume to be the creative genius behind the “Crown Royal Baby Booties”:

hi, i noticed you posted the crown royal booties. maybe you’ll reconsider if you have the full set. I posted the onesie on my site earlier this week.

Lovely! Here’s my response:

Hey girl! Haaay!!

I don’t have a baby to put in booties or onesies, so I’ll be skipping it. I will compliment you on your creativity. I’ve never seen anything like it and it definitely would have never occurred to me to put an infant into clothing emblazoned with a liquor emblem. 

Good luck in all your creative endeavors. 

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Hey You Asked: Advice For A Transitioning Naturalista

Dear PBG,

                I am 24 yrs old and have never had the interest or desire to transition to natural hair until now. My hair was falling out in patches and the breakage was unbearable.  I cut my hair in May and I haven’t had a perm since February. I have been researching how to transition to natural hair but everywhere I look someone is talking about THE BIG CHOP, weaves or wigs. I need your help!!!! Please let me know what I can do with my hair to make this transition without THE BIG CHOP or weaves. I don’t mind braids but I would love to wear my hair out and enjoy it while I make this healthy transition. Please give me any advice you can as far as products I can use and easy hairstyles. I refuse to do THE BIG CHOP.  My hair and I would go into shock, so any advice, tips, forums or links you can tell me about would be great.

 

 Thank You,

Natural Hair Crybaby

 

Hey Naturalista! Don’t cry. It’s not as difficult as you think it is.

First off, I think the reason that people recommend the Big Chop over transitioning is because hanging on to permed ends isn’t the best choice when going natural. The “line of demarcation” is where your fresh natural texture new growth meets your permed hair:

source: www.antihairslave.com

That is where your hair is weakest when you’re growing your hair out and it is very susceptible to breakage. In reality, there is no real reason to hang on to permed ends if you’re going to stop using relaxers. But, I know that we tend to want to hang on to our length. Believe me, I know. I transitioned for a year before I just gave up and chopped. That Length Struggle be REAL for Black girls! LOL! But that doesn’t mean you can’t hold on to your length while you grown your hair out. It just means you have to be very careful. Minimal heat and minimal manipulation and what I like to call “mini chops”. “Mini chops” are when you get a little bit of the perm cut out every few months until it’s all gone. That way you will save yourself and your hair from “shock”. LOL…when I read that part of your letter I laughed out loud…Hair grows back! I promise! LOL!  Since you don’t mind braids, those would be a perfect protective style for you.

My friend Kellie held on to her permed ends for a long time, so when I was doing her hair through her transition time, the styles that worked best were roller/rod sets and bantu knot-outs. You can find tutorials for these very simple styles on Youtube. Once we cut off Kellie’s permed hair, her curls POPPED like crazy and her hair seemed to grow faster than before and she was just more satisfied with her hair. Eventually you will too, so don’t fret.

As for products, I am a big fan of Oyin Handmade products (burnt sugar pomade, juices n’ berries moisturizing spray)  and Shea Moisture products (deep treatment masque, curl & style milk) for styling. My favorite shampoo is Dr.Bronner’s All-In-One Peppermint Soap and my favorite conditioner is Tresseme Naturals for curly hair. I use EcoStyler Olive Oil or Aragan Oil Gels exclusively and Lottabody Olive Oil Styling Foam for roller and rod sets. I use Giovanni Direct Leave-In Conditioner exclusively now after starting out with Cantu Shea Butter Leave In last year. My favorite oils are extra virgin coconut oil, extra virgin olive oil and apricot oil. In winter when I prefer something heavier I use avocado butter or castor oil.

Check out these blogs/forums for more advice on transitioning and caring for your natural hair:

Curly Nikki

Back To Curly

 

 

(I’ll add more later, but these are the ones I read regularly).

And while I don’t always post a lot on technique and care for natural hair, I tend to write a lot about attitudes and experiences with natural hair. Click on that tag at the top of my post to check out some of it.

I hope this helps and feel free to ask any other questions you have!

 

Dedicated Readers, any additional advice for this transitioning Naturalista? Feel free to drop links and tips in the comment section. Thanks!

 

~pbg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Rip The Runway: Vogue, “Slave Earrings”? REALLY??

OK, Last week Nivea for men posted a wack-ass ad insinuating that black men with beards and afros were “uncivilized” and “didn’t give a damn”. It was just an asshole move on their part and after getting slammed for it in every corner of the World Wide Web, they took the ad down and issued an apology. 

Fast forward to this week: Here’s Vogue Italia with their “slave earrings”. Yep, “SLAVE EARRINGS”. Check it:

"Slave earrings"...on a white lady, no less. Hmph.

From the Vogue Italia website:

Jewellery has always flirted with circular shapes, especially for use in making earrings. The most classic models are theslave and creole styles in gold hoops.

 If the name brings to the mind the decorative traditions of the women of colour who were brought to the southern Unites States during the slave trade, the latest interpretation is pure freedom. Colored stones, symbolic pendants and multiple spheres. And the evolution goes on.

 Anna Bassi, Vogue Gioiello n. 109, March 2010


It seems as if we have to teach these unaware corporations everyday that our culture isn’t up for exploitation and that they need to respect us. Hey, I’m down if you’re down. This right here is disgusting. It is a slap in the face of not only the memory every slave woman who suffered the indignities of European Chattel Slavery, but to all of their descendants, including me. A Black slave woman would be be beaten if she even attempted to adorn herself with something as fine as gold hoop earrings. No white slave traders ever said to African women “Oh, well ma’am…I’m going to take you over to the Americas and sell you into a lifetime of bondage, servitude and horrific violence, but you can keep those nice gold hoop earrings you’re wearing.” Excuse my tart language, but Vogue Italia can get the entire f*ck outta here with this ad. Slavery is never trendy, fashionable or chic.

I’m about sick of this crap. I sent the people at Vogue a letter and I encourage you to the same if ad this offends you as much as it does me. Fellow Blogger @purplepeace79 sent me this note that she put up on her Tumblr blog and she is giving us all permission to copy and paste it into the contact form over at vogue.com to lodge our complaints:

Dear Vogue,

On the Vogue Italia website, there is a product called “Slave Earrings”http://www.vogue.it/en/vogue-gioiello/shop-the-trend/2011/08/hoop-earrings. This is horribly disrespectful to people of African descent whose ancestors endured the horrors of slavery. To refer to gold hoop earrings as “slave earrings” is a slap in the face to every enslaved person who suffered at the hands of racist oppression. You should pull this item or change the change name immediately. This is unbelievable. How did you let this happen? 

Thanks for this form letter, PurplePeace. If this doesn’t drive home the point to the people at Vogue that “slavery accessories” are not that new hot sh*t, then they truly just don’t give a damn.

 

~pbg

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