Dirty Pretty Love: 9 Important Tips for Successful Online Dating
In my last post, I told the story of how Online Dating worked for me and promised to share a few of the discoveries I made during the process. I learned so much in the time that I was on the site and I’ve been dying to share with people who may be contemplating taking a swim in the Internet Dating Pool.
Without further ado…
PBG’s Tips For SUCCESSFUL Online Dating
1.) Find a site that has a good reputation and that will meet your needs.
There are a ton of online dating sites on the World Wide Web. Some of them are better than others. Some have better success rates than others. Some are free and others are not. Some dating sites are open to more than the basic hetero-normative/binary way of loving & dating. Do your research before you settle on one on which to set up your profile.
2.) Be absolutely CLEAR about what you what you want from the site.
Are you looking for a long term relationship that may lead to marriage? Say so. Do you only want a “friend with benefits” for a little while. Say so. Maybe you’re only looking for casual dating and companionship. Ain’t no shame in whatever it is you may want for YOURSELF. Be clear about it and make it a part of your profile.
3.) Post Good Pics of Yourself
Good pictures for a dating website are clear, aesthetically pleasing, show you in a few different settings but always at your best. Post both face pictures and full body shots. You should also only post pics of you alone. Nobody needs to see pics of you and your friends and have to try and figure out which one is you. Get a friend to take a few pictures of you for your profile. If all your pics are selfies, they seem unnatural and like nobody likes you. And for GOD’S SAKE…learn your angles! This seems to be ESPECIALLY troublesome for men. Good looking men out here losing because they don’t know how to find the light n’ such. *smh*
Fellas: Don’t post pics of the “stuff” you have. Nobody cares that you have a fancy motorcycle, a blingy watch or expensive label clothes. Most women laugh at your thirst traps. Besides, you can’t complain about “gold diggers” if that’s what you’re basing your attractiveness and worth on out the gate.
Ladies: Your titty & ass pics aren’t necessary. It’s just not the first impression you want to make on a dating site. Save that for later, if you must.
4.) DO NOT LIE ABOUT ANYTHING!!
Be truthful about your height, your age, your weight, your marital status, your status as a parent. These are all things that will EVENTUALLY come to light, so why lie? It’s disrespectful to all parties involved and makes you look like an asshole. Nobody wants to be bothered with that. It really ruins EVERYTHING. Honesty is indeed the best policy.
5.) That “About Me” section should actually be a way for someone to learn a little ABOUT YOU
One the most irritating things about online dating profiles was empty and meaningless “About Me” sections. “Ask me and I’ll tell you” is the WORST and will surely get your profile passed over. I also don’t want to read some wack ass poem. Take time and think about what you want someone to know about you at first glance on the Internet. Be witty and funny, talk about what’s good about you and talk about what you’re looking for in a date/partner. DO NOT talk about what you DON’T WANT. Don’t put the negative into the universe because it will undoubtedly come your way. Speak in the affirmative as much as possible. If you need some help writing a good bio for yourself, ASK FOR HELP. Think about it in the same way you think about a cover letter you would send in inquiry for a job. That’s how much the “About Me” section matters in this process.
Disgustingly Overused Words & Phrases: “laidback”, “drama-free”, “chill”, “independent”, “open-minded” and my personal nemesis…”nice.” Get thee to a thesaurus!Please and thank you.
6.) Keep up with the messages that are sent to you.
If someone sends you a message, try to answer them as soon as possible. This online stuff depends almost completely on keeping a decent momentum going with the messages. That’s how you show that you’re actually interested. If you’re not interested, say so and keep moving. No need to drag that out.
7.) Don’t be afraid to show interest initiate contact with someone that catches your eye.
Go ahead and talk first. Say “Hello” or compliment (not “creeperate”) someone on their picture or well-written About Me section. If someone interests you, act on it. After all, that IS why you’re on the site. Don’t waste your time…go for it! Approach them with the same sincerity and respect you would want for yourself. If they don’t return the interest or nothing comes of the contact, no worries. You’re still awesome and amazing. Keep at it. Speaking of wasting someone’s time…
8.) DO NOT WASTE ANYBODY’S TIME
This is SUPER IMPORTANT. If you know you’re only on the site to find a partner for casual sex, don’t pursue someone who is looking for something more. If you’re looking for your future spouse, don’t keep checking for the people who have “ looking for a chat buddy” or “hoping for a hang out partner” on their profile. Don’t try to negotiate with them in hopes of changing their mind or worse…lie to them to make them believe that you are on the same page as they are. It is unnecessary and disrespectful. Everything isn’t negotiable, nor should it be. Whatever it is you want, I promise you there is somebody out there that wants the same thing. Rest your entire understanding on THAT.
9.) Guard your personal information!
This should go without saying but I’ve learned to never assume what somebody else knows. Never EVER give up any personal information like your home or work address, social security number, bank account information, etc. Only exchange emails, instant messenger handles and phone numbers only when you’re comfortable with doing so. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO YOU SEND NUDE PHOTOS OF YOURSELF TO SOMEONE YOU JUST MET ONLINE. If you decide to meet up with someone, meet in a public place and let a close friend or family member know who you’re meeting, when and where. That goes for men AND women. Stay safe out in these dating streets!
That’s about all I can think of now. I’m pretty sure there is more to consider but I’d say these points are the most important to keep in mind when doing the online dating thing. Be confident , trust your instincts and KNOW YOUR WORTH. If you need some help writing a bio or putting together an online dating profile, email me at askthepbg@gmail and I’ll try my best to help you out.