Bless this poor white woman’s heart. She wants to know about “The Butters”.
My friend sent me this video this morning and it was the very first piece of media I consumed for the day. I watched it from my phone before I even put my feet to the floor to shake the devil off. My initial reaction was just to laugh. I straight up giggled at this woman her insistence that we Black women tell her about “The Butters”. She has discovered that there is more to the moisturizing game than those stank, mineral oils-posing-as-lotions at Bath & Body Works and she wants to be down. She wants to know how she can have The Glow too. You know, “The Glow”…how “Black don’t crack”. She wants to know how to keep her “mixed” son from being ashy. Yeah, she wants to be down. Am I surprised? No indeed. Are any of My Sistas surprised? Probably not. White women wanting to be down with our beauty secrets is by no means a new thing.
But as I giggled, I did not feel full-on amused by this White woman demanding that Black people tell her about our cultural secrets. Not that shea butter, cocoa butter, jojoba oil or anything else some big secret. People have been using those things for hair and skin care for centuries. They’re out in nature. Black people don’t hold the patent on any of it. We weren’t “hiding” anything from you. Not at all, so why are you “pissed off”? This is just stuff we had access to and knowledge of how to use because it was a part of our culture.
Our culture. This is where the disconnect is, Ms. Heady1313. Follow me, ok? You want to get told? Here’s me telling you:
As it is, we’re just getting back into “The Butters” ourselves. There was this thing that happened a long time ago that kinda separated Black people from a large part of their culture. That separation caused a lack of access to the things we used to have and the ways we used to use them. It also caused us some confusion because some kinda way, we stopped believing in our own standards of beauty and started emulating another. Revering it, actually. Revering it to the point of mass collective psychological damage. So hundreds of years after that thing that happened and kicked up all that trouble, a bunch of us Black folks are FINALLY getting back to “The Butters”. Now, if way back when, the White Folks had not come to see us on some conquer & destroy type missions and been on some friendly, diplomatic type stuff, ya’ll would KNOW about “The Butters” because we would have shared the secrets. But no, ya’ll came to see us with other things in mind, so we all lost out on “The Butters” for a very long time.
You see, at this point we don’t owe you, Ms. Heady 1313 or any other White person, anything. We don’t owe it to you to sit you down and break down the brightness of our culture when you don’t want to deal with the darker aspects of our intersecting beings. Quite frankly, we don’t even have the time. Now, I know it is the neighborly and loving thing to do to share, but don’t sit up in your privileged and DEMAND for us to “give it up”. All things considered, that’s going to leave a nasty taste in my mouth and make me more inclined to tell you to get The Glow, go get a tub of Crisco and rub that all over your skin. Just because I don’t like the way you came at me. So chill, OK? Tuck in that privilege and come a little more humble than that. Again, we don’t owe you our secrets.
By the way, you managed to have a biracial son but didn’t learn any about any of “The Butters”? Oh. I guess his mama, sisters and girl cousins didn’t really like you that much. Girl. You lost.