Dear Beyonce, Please Come Get Your Stans

Dear Beyonce,

Hey, girl. Hey. I hope this letter finds you in the best of health and spirits, being the best you you can be and all that. Or at least taking a little breather after your performance on the Billboard Awards show last night, right? I didn’t see it because I was editing some pictures and partaking in the quality Black cinema that TVOne was offering the people last night. They have some good shows! You should watch that channel sometimes. At any rate, I heard you did a great job and I’ll be sure to watch the clip on one of these blogs within the next few days.

Now, I know you’re busy with your new album about to come out and all, but girl, we need to talk. We need to talk about these people that call themselves your “Stans”. You remember that song “Stan” by Eminem? That’s where the term came from, but if were you, that would make me nervous. The “Stan” in that song became so obsessed with the artist he idolized that he ended up kidnapping his girlfriend, throwing her the trunk of a car and drowning her or some such foolishness just to get attention from their biggest star. We have got to stop speaking such horrific energy into our lives!  I don’t ever want that to happen to you! Anyways, back to your Stans…you really need to talk to them.

I don’t know if you know this or not, but your Stans are a malicious, acerbic group of people who actively seek out to verbally abuse and assault ANYBODY they perceive to have made even the most minimal slight against you. The BeyHive/Beyonce Army are rude, nasty and ignorant, all in the name of their love and admiration for you, Bey. I’ve seen cyberbullying that would make you cry when it comes to your Stans, girl. It’s sickening. They call folks names I am too ashamed to even repeat to you. You know what I think every time I see a BeyStan go after someone in your “defense”? I think “What Would Beyonce Do?” You seem like such a sweet girl, I know you wouldn’t approve of that type of behavior. Look how diplomatic you were when my ignorant boyfriend Kanye West jumped out there on that lil’ white girl that time! So kind and lady-like. How can your Stans claim to admire you so much and not adhere to your exceptional social graciousness? Attacking people and cursing them out in blog comments sections and via Twitter is not the way of a genteel Southern Lady, which you so clearly are. If I were you, I’d have a real problem with bullies claiming to represent me. I don’t think the ugliness I see from the Beyonce Stans is the Beyonce Way at all.

You need to put a stop to this. I think if YOU spoke out against this, they would listen. They claim to be a “hive”. You are the Queen. The Queen Bey. They have to listen to you or else they contradict their entire movement. Make them prove their TRUE loyalty to you, Beyonce. Maybe you could make a YouTube video to your overly aggressive fans telling them to behave better that includes some role playing as to demonstrate what exactly you would do if someone made disparaging remarks to you. If you do that, be sure to use your Serious Voice or else they’ll think you’re just kidding when I think you both can agree that this is NO LAUGHING MATTER. I think that would work. I know for a fact that all your Stans enjoy videos. Another option for spreading this message of representing you well could be writing a letter and have bloggers post it for you.

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