Dear Naomi Campbell,

Girl, what the hell have you done to your hair?? No, not that store bought hair-hat a’top your dome right now. I mean the hair that is struggling to grow from your Gawd-Given scalp. You have tortured your follicles with weave and wigs so much over the years that they have absolutely quit on you! They are screaming out in tragic unison “No Mas!!” and you ain’t listening!

Naomi, I hate to be the one to tell you, but your hair line looks like Anthony Hamilton’s old beard.

If he cut that mess off the sides of his face, what makes you think your edges should be looking like that? Your hairline is not supposed to start in the middle of your head. Your edges are a disaster area and qualify for a FEMA check. You may want to look into that.

The modeling world has really f*cked you up, girl. They don’t accept the natural naps and make all you gorgeous nappy-headed brown girls get wigs with harsh glue or sew in too-tight weaves just to emulate the European standard of beauty. You went along because you thought you had to and now look at you. Your hairline is a blighted wasteland of illusions. What you have now along with your fame and fortune is a monster case of Traction Alopecia. I know your pain, Naomi!! I had some tight microbraids obliterate my hairline back in the 1990′s! It wasn’t until I abandoned chemical straighteners and weaves & wigs of all kind and begin to actually CARE for my hair did my precious edges begin to fill in again. It took YEARS, but thank the Good Lord, it’s back.

I think you should abandon the weaves and have those edges treated by a medical doctor! See what kind of concoction they can come up with for you to revitalize your exhausted follicles. Join the Natural Hair Revolution! Fight the Power, Naomi! Free your mind and your hair will grow back!

How about even going bald? It’s been working for a lot of women:

India.Irie did it. I know she's wack, but I'm trying to make a point here.

This is just a random pic I found on the Internet, but this lady looks gorgeous, doesn't she?

This was just for play-play on her show, but it's a good look, right? If Tyra can do it, so can you Naomi!

That has to be better than the trauma of what those weaves are doing to your hair! Girl, give it up! Those sew-ins don’t love you!!

Find a way to heal yourself. Find a way to love yourself!! You’re old in the modeling game now. You’ve made plenty of money, so you don’t have to be beholden to a industry ignorant and/or afraid of the Natural Black Beauty Aesthetic. I know it’s scary girl, but it will be worth it once your hair returns! I hear if you rub Monostat up there it helps! Gone and google that and regain the strength of your hairline!!

In this and in all things, I wish you love, light and clarity. And a year-long supply of Rogain for women.

~pbg

And from the “Circle of Foolery” this week, links for your laughter:

From awesomelyluvvie: Everyone Needs A Sassy Gay Friend
From flyblackchick: Modern Day Ambulance Chasers
From brokeymcpoverty: Brandy’s Hairline Sees Pictures of Naomi’s Edges, Stages Intervention