Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness & Will Get You A Second Date
“The day that Black men believe they are such a hot commodity that they don’t have to shower or dress appropriately for a date is the day they can collectively kiss my ass.”
This was my tweet in response to a blog post on The Dithering of a District Diva entitled, “No This Negro Didn’t!” The DC Diva weaves a harrowing tale of a potentially awesome dating experience gone horribly wrong #SBF #OhLawd #CallSteveHarvey. She met a guy while out one night and after a little conversation, they agreed on a date. The night of the date and they meet at the restaurant of his choice and HE shows up in a dingy wife-beater sweating like a South Carolina slave, among other things. She was so horrified she bolted and ignored the dude’s calls from then on out.
Poor DC Diva. She caught all kinds of hell in her blog comments for abandoning the date and leaving dude where he stood. One uncouth person even called her a bitch. For some reason, quite a few of the people that left comments on her blog thought she acted to hastily and should have given him a chance to explain himself. REALLY?? Explain himself??
DC Diva told a good story, so good that I was able to see the entire incident in the restaurant unfold in my mental mind’s eye. When she described him coming through the door like this:
“He was coming towards me in what appeared to be a dingy white WIFE BEATER, some khaki shorts, some loafers with SOCKS, and an (apropos) Po’ Boy hat.”
This is what I envisioned:
"The original oil spill covered bird of hip-hop" ~@Freshalina
And hell to the yes, she should have run and run fast as her two little legs could carry her! If a dude comes through the door looking like that, there are only a few scenarios I can imagine having just gone down prior to his arrival:
- He ran off from a chain gang
- The Feds are after him
- He stole somebody’s crack stash [and smoked some]
Or the much more plausible one of “Hey, I just didn’t give a f*ck”. I’m all for “take me as I am”, but this sh*t here is just ridiculous. I see this all too often while out and about: A young lady dressed nicely, hair done and classy make up walking along with a guy who couldn’t even be bothered to put on a decent shirt, let alone iron it. What part of the dating game is that?? I don’t think men truly appreciate the trouble we go through to look good on a date, especially those first few dates when one is trying to give the best impression possible. A guy is supposed be able to show up looking like an escaped slave and be given a chance to explain himself, but if a woman walks up in the spot in her raggedy sweats and hair dye spotted T-shirt that she wears when cleaning the house, she’d be called every kind of “bum ass broad” known in Negronia, left to buy her own dinner.
I don’t think so.
There isn’t a damn thing that guy could have told me that would’ve made it OK for him to show up like that. Even if we were going to a picnic, PUT ON A DAMN CLEAN SHIRT!!! No indeed, times will never be that hard.
Settling is for suckers and I don’t think expecting your date to show up CLEAN and appropriately dressed for a date makes woman “stuck-up”, “snooty”, “high maintenance” or any of those other creative labels men have come up with for women who refuse to put up with their triflin’ ways. It just means a woman holds herself in high regard and expects any man who wants to enjoy her company to respect her as well.
~pbg
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